The USA are sucking oil from this planet up to the last bit. Russia has invaded Western Europe. Crypto has failed. You cannot wipe your a** with your Bitcoins, because it is not even paper. Justin Bieber almost lost his O-1 visa. Jade the Rabbit is dead. Only 7% of Yahoo! video chats actually involve nudity.

Clear signs that the end of the world is coming.

What are *you* going to do? Getting drunk with cheap Bud? Do yourself a favor: settle for no less than Champagne. Or at least Bordeaux wine. Submit to NoSuchCon 2014!

If you are not clever enough to have been abducted by Cicadia 3301, but still smart enough to be in the "cybersecurity" field those days, do not miss this unique opportunity to gather one more time before the Cybergeddon. Show up with never-seen-before and hardcore research materials to NoSuchCon 2014!

If you call yourself a hacker, but did not sell your company over $19bn (yet), stay calm and submit to NoSuchCon 2014! We provide free trips to Paris for the best of you!

This operation will be known as PONY COLLECTION. And do not worry, there will be NSA[*] members all around the place. Wearing orange T-Shirts. Just like last year[**].

It all started here: cfp{at}nosuchcon.org

At least if you can write at least 20 lines of text before September 30st.